This is quite an 'orrible one, so if viewers are easily offended..look away now...

OK, so I went to my first Glasto in 1999 with a large group of friends. We managed to get tickets at the last minute and eventually reached the hallowed turf after midnight - and after gettting lost several times in the Welsh valleys..Needless to say, we proceeded to get fairly hammered once our tents were set up near the dance tent..OK, before they were set up - maybe not a great idea in hindsight..

On the second day, I was cramped up in a four-man tent with six people and one sleeping bag. And all of a sudden I really needed the toilet. I could only find one of my trainers. I eventually gave up looking and thought 'how bad could it be walking to the toilets?'. How wrong I was!

The toilets were all busy, so *ashamed* I had to go by a fence. On walking there, I felt a distinct - and smelly - slushy, swampy mud between my toes. By that point it was too late. By the time I got back home after the weekend I had trenchfoot.

And the morals of the story are a) don't share a four-man tent with six [very wrecked] people - you'll lose stuff, not excepting your sanity and b) don't pee by the fences..

You live and learn, eh?